We purchased this fixer-upper in the golden age of McMansions, circa 2016. I mean, I think the only golden age was the 80s and 90s, but they are a bit glorified, so either way, what we did felt a tad irregular/ against the grain at the time because everyone loves a brand-new house. Basically, we went for the opposite: the old house route with less square footage, sitting on a more considerable lot. That meant short-term sacrifices (that at the time, felt long-term) to get what we really wanted. Here are a few things I’ve learned from living in an unconventional home.
When we were looking for a new house to make the real estate leap from one state to the next, things were moving quickly. We’d saved some houses on our 3.45 hour journey to view on our arrival from Alabama to Nashville. When we arrived one day later, many listings were already pending. Though overwhelming at the time, we had no idea that the market would keep going up, {Thanks, California}, so looking back, we’re glad we arrived when we did, as we were moving from one very difficult and slow market to a spicy one. We stumbled upon it in a list of remaining houses on a rainy day. I almost wrote it off before seeing it because of the run-down vibe and limited square footage on paper. It was the opposite of the house we’d just sold, smaller and for much more, which at the time… seemed ridiculous. For some reason, after a bout of hangriness {and a resulting lunch break}, we agreed to look at it anyway, as it had been sitting on the market for a while. Then something happened when we stepped over the threshold, and we immediately fell in love with the little forgotten split level. This hard-to-come-by, 1-acre yard and excellent school system were appealing. But the potential is what we really fell in love with.
Do you ever look back at the circumstances and just can’t believe things ended up that way? This is one of those little stories for us.
Then, just like any good story, reality. This little house needed a lot of work, and the local codes department heavily dictated what we could and could not do. {Thanks, Septic.} The scope of work included an entire overhaul. When we shared our plans, family members asked if it would be easier to tear it down. The answer was probably, but we planned to do it in stages, and we liked the existing footprint. All the while, that real estate mitigating factor dictated that we stay right where we were for the long haul.
At times, it was difficult to work so hard on something we believed in that quickly became a money pit. {Thanks, Marie Callender} We took our time so that we weren’t drowning, though the real estate leap from one state with a horrible market to another in high demand can be a little tricky to navigate financially. It was easy to doubt ourselves while everyone else seemed drawn to mass builders’ new-traditional builds {with multiple gables} on smaller lots. All with a glorified ease. And with plenty of money for gratuitous vacations on social media if you let those highlight reels get to you. That’s the thing about life… you have to do your own thing.
The pool room before the addition was an old porch on the back, where we made lots of sweet memories.
Our primary suite now sits to the left.
And here’s the inside.
But fast forward eight years later, and now that we’ve put in the work and settled in, {taking it from 1650 square feet to over 3700} and we won’t even talk about the value – we’re just grateful to be here because if we’d waited another year, it wouldn’t have been possible – there’s an odd sense of clarity that having our little sanctuary brings. We’ve now seen a lot of houses in our day, and while every area and situation is different, our own home has taught us many things. {Maybe a few life lessons, too.}
ps. I just removed all these extra pieces from my office… it feels huge now.
We live in an unconventional home. Here are a few things I’ve learned.
• Sometimes, the longer road is better for you in the end.
We renovated in phases because it was the wiser financial decision for us. This required a lot of patience and long-term sacrifice to get what we wanted with a family of five and two giant dogs. {See: At one point, all three kids shared one room. And at one point, you should have seen our “primary bath” shared between us and our middle while we waited.} The list keeps going.
Patience is vital to any renovation, and losing it is often very common. {Also see: me.} We didn’t know if we would be allowed to add on to the house as we had planned. This house taught us to focus on our priorities and what we wanted. That took patience on multiple levels, and for that, I am grateful.
• This home has been an entire learning process.
In turn, it helps us assist our clients in troubleshooting, problem-solving, and beyond. It was a trial by fire for us and an extension of our education with an overload of first-hand experiences that come with an unreal amount of empathy. “I’m not only the Hair Club president, but I’m also a client,” applies here. You have to be a problem solver when it comes to your renovation. And honestly, in real life, too. In the world of design and construction, you can’t just sit back and expect things to work themselves out. When septic told us no, we reworked the system until it was doable. It’s helped us advocate for our clients because while codes can be different for every area, it’s enabled us to anticipate realistic timelines and processes.
• Our home is an escape.
My love language has always been creating a stable, consistent retreat. I’ll be honest: virtue signaling on social media and claiming that we should all spend our money on experiences, not things, has been trendy for a while. Here’s a hot take: My house is now an experience and an escape. We don’t have the luxury of taking many vacations because we own a small business with many companies and clients counting on us. But my backyard certainly feels like one. It’s the place where our kids bring their friends. It’s not perfect, but neither is a five star resort. We put in all the work to get there, and we appreciate it even more.
• It has grown with us as a family.
Having an overall plan and taking your time is the smartest choice you can make when it comes to your own house. Social media and HGTV brainwash us. Let your home grow with you. Not everything happens during a commercial break, and our reality depends on circumstances, budget, timing, and more. These photos you see? They were hard-earned, and there’s a lot of crap shoved out of the way to let a photo happen because we live here. Our own process for a renovation was a slow burn, and it helped us figure out exactly what we needed while our kids grew. That means it took time. Back to that process, because we took our time, our house can now serve us better. Whether you live there for a while and come up with a cohesive plan, or you live in it while you go through it stage by stage {guilty}, it’s smart to think through your real needs. Let your home grow with you. It’s meant to be a process.
• We did our homework.
We’ve been together for over 22 years and have owned three houses. {Apparently, that’s the all-American average.} Most people now can’t put in a down payment because of the state of the market and the economy. It’s ridiculous. So, I by no means want this to sound tone-deaf. We got lucky. I worry for our children and what we can help them do in the future. All that to say, we don’t like moving. We quickly realized that you either move or stay if you have the luxury of doing so. And moving is just as much work as renovating, only to find yourself in a new space that actually needs more work. I don’t expect everyone to be as passionate about homes or spaces as we are. But where you live should make you happy, so it’s worth it to spend a little time researching what’s possible.
• Flexibility is a life skill.
See what I wrote above? Space is getting harder to come by, so we created our own. It wasn’t ideal in the beginning. People aren’t kidding when they describe the renovation process as blood, sweat, and tears. And back to that problem-solving bit, too. It’s an important part of figuring out exactly what you need. Staying flexible and open minded helped us process and roll with all things obstacles and more.
• Contentment is a life skill.
Everyone always talks about upgrading to the next house. McMansion hopping is a hobby and we should all make t-shirts. Everyone always talks about upgrading to the next house, but I feel that with the state of our economy and market, that mentality is shifting. By the time we’d be ready to move, our kids are leaving anyway. It feels nice to have something just like we want. We have built a stable sanctuary for our family over time, and it just feels good to pause, and practice gratitude. Our kids can always come home.
• We Don’t Believe in the Dream home. We believe in Your Home.
We’ve made this our forever home with what we have, and we wouldn’t want it any other way. It can be easy to get caught up in the “what-ifs” and “if only’s.” Living in an unconventional home has taught us that, just like in life, you make the best of what you have.
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Pssst… did you know that we take on design and renovation projects for clients? Check out what we do here and our portfolio here.
Need a realtor – even if you’re in another state? We have that too. Contact us at jamin @ the handmade home . net.
We’d love to hear from you.
Want to see more of our house journey? Check out this post here + Our fall tour, here!
